Disappearing Act

What Is Happening?

Have you ever felt invisible?

Okay. I’ve noticed a growing trend in my life. It started a couple of years ago, but I chalked it up to my imagination. Let me explain. I like going out to eat alone; when I get the opportunity, I like to sit and ponder the menu and look at the people around me and generally relax into myself. It’s always been a treat until the last few years.

When I enter a bar/restaurant alone in the early evening like I did recently at Happy Volley where my daughter Tory was competing for volleyball glory, I am invisible. I am not seen sitting at that table by myself. The wait staff didn’t see me at that Happy Volley bar/restaurant. It was strange. And it took me a while to figure it out.

Since when did I become invisible?

When I realized that I was invisible at that Happy Volley bar/restaurant table , I moved to a seat at the bar. . .and waited and waited to be noticed . . . so I could order a glass of wine and a sandwich. It was weird, to say the least. And don’t think that I’m shy either. I just couldn’t — short of standing on the barstool perhaps — catch the bartender’s eye or attention. And the establishment wasn’t packed with people either.

Puzzled, I pondered it. I watched others walk into the bar/restaurant. I looked at people’s gender. I looked at people’s ages. I looked at who walked in alone. I looked at who walked in with other people. And then I realized something. . .

I realized that although my mind is still about 25 years old that my body looks its age –50-plus years old. And I realized with a sinking heart that I was being ignored on purpose so to speak. . . because I am an older woman? . . . because I am alone?

I didn't see any men who were alone getting ignored.

Don’t ever underestimate an older woman who is sitting alone. She has cash in her pocket and knows how to tip. . .or not. . .based on the service she receives.